The Dance with Grief and Joy
Finding hope after suicide loss
“God will never allow something unless He knows He can bring good out of it. And that’s not to say He causes it, but I don’t want to waste this pain. I want purpose from it. And the enemy’s not gonna win this one.” —Summers Smeaton
When Summers Smeaton and her husband Chad lost their teenage son, Shiloh, to suicide, their world shattered. But even in the midst of unimaginable grief, they made the choice to speak, to share, to hope, and to trust that God could still bring something good from the ashes.
Watch now: “Grieving With Purpose: Finding Hope After Suicide Loss”
Summers is no stranger to the Family Life Radio family. You likely remember their story she and Chad shared with us back in 2022, while their tragic loss was still raw. And again, in this moment, Summers’ message comes from the deepest places of pain—and the quiet beauty of God’s presence in the fire.
“The fire showed me where I trusted God—and where I didn’t,” Summers shared in a recent conversation with us. “And He met me in both places.”
A Different Kind of Fire
It’s one thing to have your faith tested. It’s another to feel like everything has been burned to the ground. That’s how Summer describes the early days of grieving.
“I thought I had faith. I had seen miracles. I had walked with the Lord for decades. But when my son died, it felt like the fire had consumed everything.”
Some days she didn’t want to get out of bed. Most nights she felt so disoriented she didn’t know what to pray. But in that darkness, she discovered something she hadn’t expected—an invitation from God.
“God never promised we wouldn’t walk through fire. But He promised He’d be with us. And when I finally said, ‘Okay, Lord, I’ll trust You again,’ something shifted.”
Choosing Purpose Over Numbness
Summer’s new devotional, Grieving With Purpose, invites others into that same journey. It’s not a polished or pain-free road—but one anchored in presence and promise.
“I didn’t want to live in survival mode anymore,” she said. “I wanted to live with purpose. Even in my grief. Even in the tears.”
She speaks honestly about the days she still wrestles with questions—and about how grief doesn’t disappear in a straight line. But her message is unwavering: God is not finished. “There is still life to be lived. And God still has good things for you.”
Beauty From the Ashes
One of the most powerful moments in the conversation came when Summers reflected on what she’s learned since the fire: “The enemy tried to steal my purpose. But I’ve seen God take the ashes of grief and bring life from them. And I want others to know—it’s possible. You can walk through fire and still find beauty. Still find hope.”
That’s why she wrote her book, Through Rivers and Fire—to gently hold space for others who are walking through loss, to remind them that they are not alone, and to give them tools to keep moving forward in faith.
God is still writing your story, even if you still feel lost in the wilderness of grief. Summers reminds us, “Even in loss, your life still matters. You still matter. And purpose still waits on the other side of pain.”
You’re not walking alone. And hope is closer than you think.
Summers Smeaton
Summers Smeaton is a speaker and author who brings raw honesty, steady faith, and deep compassion to the conversation around grief and hope. In January 2022, she and her husband, Chad, experienced the devastating loss of their 15-year-old son, Shiloh, to suicide. In the midst of heartbreak, Summers made a courageous choice—to trust God again, even in the fire.
Out of that season, she wrote Through Rivers and Fire: Discovering God’s Goodness in the Midst of Tragedy, a powerful book that explores how faith can survive and even grow through unimaginable loss. She invites others into a journey of spiritual healing—anchored in God’s presence, shaped by honest lament, and filled with quiet, stubborn hope.
Summers is passionate about helping others feel less alone in their pain and more confident that God is still at work. She lives in Tucson, Arizona, with her husband and children, and continues to speak and write about finding beauty, purpose, and even joy—on the other side of sorrow.
You can also explore the 5-day devotional study, “Grieving with a Purpose” with YouVersion on the Web or in the Bible App .