Choosing Love Over Self

Is love an emotion, or is it a daily choice?

This question might stir something deeper in your heart. In marriage, love often means setting aside your own preferences to prioritize your spouse’s needs. It’s not always easy—life pulls you in different directions, and selfishness feels natural. But God calls you to reflect Christ’s example: putting others first and considering their needs above your own. In marriage, that means loving your spouse not out of obligation, but as an intentional act of grace and devotion.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
– Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Putting your spouse first starts with humility. It’s not about what you’re giving up but about what you’re building together. When you choose kindness, gentleness, and patience, you strengthen the foundation of your relationship. It might look like letting go of the last word in an argument or making time for their needs, even when you feel stretched thin.

Marriage flourishes when you embrace unity over “me first.” Love thrives in sacrifice, especially when you’re tempted to defend your rights or cling to your preferences. Think about Jesus. He didn’t hold anything back—He gave everything for you. His example should inspire how you treat your spouse, offering love that’s selfless and sacrificial.

Small acts of selflessness build a love that speaks louder than words.

Invite the Holy Spirit to guide your heart and actions. When frustration creeps in, lean on His strength to choose patience. When selfishness whispers, respond with compassion. Ask yourself, “How can I serve my spouse today?” It doesn’t need to be grand—maybe it’s listening without distractions, offering a word of encouragement, or tackling a task they usually handle. Every small act of love reflects God’s design for marriage and creates a space where you both grow closer to Him and each other.

Love rooted in God transforms relationships. It’s not about keeping score or seeking validation. It’s about reflecting His love in your home, bringing peace and joy to your marriage. Choosing to put your spouse first aligns your heart with God’s purpose for your life together.

Today’s One Thing
Ask God to show you how to support and encourage your spouse today. Declare this to yourself: “I choose to love my spouse selflessly, following Christ’s example of humility and grace.”

Go Deeper

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