Freedom from the Need to Control

Has anyone ever accused you of being a control freak, or having to have things go a certain way? When we dig deeper, we often find that our desire to control comes from past pain and wounds.

The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

— Psalm 9:9 NLT

Trauma, especially from childhood, can leave us feeling powerless. In those tender years, if we experienced things beyond our control, the idea of letting go in adulthood can feel terrifying. But God, our loving Father, wants to heal those very places and restore our trust.

For many, control became a survival mechanism—a way to cope with chaos or pain from the past. When we couldn’t count on others or our circumstances, we taught ourselves to hold tightly to what we could control. Perhaps it was a fractured relationship, a time of instability, or feeling unseen and unheard. Maybe it was not having enough of the basic necessities like food, clothing, or a loving stable home. Whatever the cause, the effects run deep.

God understands the hidden reasons we cling to control, and He gently calls us to place it all in His hands.

But God sees beyond our actions; He understands our hearts. He knows that need to control often stems from places of deep hurt and unmet needs. He isn’t frustrated or disappointed with us for struggling to trust. Instead, He gently invites us to find safety, stability, and healing in Him. God is tender with the broken parts of our hearts, offering us a new foundation—one that’s not built on self-protection but on His promises.

Letting go of control can be a gradual process. It might mean bringing those past wounds to God in prayer, piece by piece, and allowing His Spirit to minister to the hurting places. As we invite Him into our healing journey, we may find that control starts to feel less necessary, as trust and peace take its place. God doesn’t promise to erase our memories, but He does promise to walk with us and redeem what feels lost.

Today’s One Thing

Take a moment to reflect on a past hurt or trauma that still impacts your need for control. Pray about this specific area, asking God to heal any lingering wounds and help you release control as you experience His love and care.

Go Deeper

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