Is God Still Good When It Hurts?

TobyMac on finding hope when life feels anything but good

“God is still kind—even when it hurts.” TobyMac admits that’s not something most people want to talk about. In this conversation, he shares with us how his view of God has changed, especially through pain and growth.

Once afraid of losing God’s love, TobyMac now describes a relationship with God that’s anchored in kindness—even in the valley.

From Fear to Father
As a young believer, TobyMac says he obeyed God—but not out of love. “I was a good kid because I was scared to do anything wrong,” he admitted. “I disciplined myself because I didn’t want to lose the love of God.”

Looking back now, he sees it clearly. “That’s wrong thinking. God gave us Jesus, and Jesus offers us forgiveness. Is God scary? Should we fear God? Absolutely. When you read the Word of God, you realize God is serious. But Jesus came in love to bridge the big God with us humans. And I’m so grateful for that.”

God’s love is not something we earn; it’s a gift we receive.

If you’ve ever felt like your faith was driven more by fear than by trust, TobyMac gets it. And he’s been transformed by understanding God’s love is not something we earn—it’s a gift we receive.

The “Jesus Freak” Years
That transformation began to take place as he learned about God’s kindness during his DC Talk years, surrounded by friends who didn’t always see things the same way. Living in close community pushed him to stretch his understanding of grace—and of God.

One breakthrough moment came while writing the DC Talk song “Mind’s Eye.”

“It’s the first time I sensed that God was my loving Father,” Toby recalled. “I had a picture in my head when I wrote that song:

‘In my mind’s eye, I see your face. You smile as you show me grace.’

I felt like I saw myself sitting in God’s lap as a child when I wrote that song. And it’s the first time I think I’d seen God like that. So it’s pretty special.”

For someone who used to be afraid of losing God’s approval, that image—being held in God’s lap—changed everything.

God’s Kindness in the Valley
Today, TobyMac’s understanding of God has been forged through real pain—and deep loss. And yet, he’s found kindness right there in the valley.

“God is just kind. And His kindness doesn’t work the way it does on earth,” he shared. “In walking in the valleys I ‘ve walked through, I found that God is still kind—even when it hurts.”

That’s really what you cling to when life shatters.

“[God] is good on an eternal level. But goodness on earth sometimes hurts because He wants us eternally. So it doesn’t always look like the kind of thing we think—it might be painful on earth but lead to something beautiful eternally.”

God’s kindness isn’t always comfortable, but it’s always eternal.

So, what about you? Are you carrying questions that sound like TobyMac used to ask:

·      Does God only love me when I get it right?

·      Why does this hurt so much if God is good?

·      Is He still kind—when nothing around me feels kind?

TobyMac has been there. And in that space, he saw a different side of God. He wasn’t the harsh judge, nor the distant deity, but a loving Father who smiles as He shows grace.

“In my mind’s eye, I see your face. You smile as you show me grace.”

That smile is for you, too.

Want to go deeper? Learning to Live Loved is a free 5-day devotional on YouVersion designed to help you experience God’s love in a personal way. Whether you’re new to faith or finding your way back after a weary season, this short journey will remind you that you are seen, pursued, and deeply valued by the Father.

Find the plan on YouVersion and take the next step toward living loved.