Marriage & Money: The Importance of Communication (July 2024)
Marriage is about far more than love and companionship. It’s a partnership that forms the foundation of a family, and it may be the most important contract you ever enter. Disagreements over financial values, long-term goals, or spending habits can create a lot of stress in your relationship and affect every area of your life.
As important as it is to get on the same page, talking about money isn’t something everyone is comfortable with. You may have grown up in a household where financial discussions always happened behind closed doors, or you haven’t yet taken time to reflect on your values, so you don’t know how to bring up the topic.
Fortunately, learning to talk about money is a skill you can practice and improve, just like anything else.
Approaching Finances as a Team
In a recent webinar, John Moore Associates’ financial advisor Joe Limke and his wife Pam shared their financial journey as a couple, from their different upbringing through the trials and tribulations of early marriage, growing as a family through a tragedy, and navigating tough career decisions.
Managing Finances as a Team
Here are some key takeaways from Joe and Pam’s experience:
- Listen to wise counsel when it is offered. Many people with experience and insight are there to help you along your journey and accepting that help with grace and understanding how to apply it to your life will help you stay on a fruitful path.
- Identify your spouse’s money personality, financial goals, and values. Ideally, you’ll want to have those conversations as part of premarital counseling. But even if you’re already married, taking time to understand one another can help you communicate better and tackle your goals together.
- Create a budget together that allows you to cover your expenses while reaching your financial goals. Married couples may not always agree on all financial decisions but discussing how to allocate money and planning for compromises in advance can help set money aside when unexpected emergencies crop up.
- Check in on your progress frequently and keep communication open as you navigate life’s ups and downs or temporary setbacks. It’s not always roses, but incremental progress adds up in the long term to create greater opportunities for savings, prosperity, and generosity.
- Model healthy financial habits for your children but allow them to work through their own challenges. Showing your kids how to have healthy talks about money will set them up for success as they enter their own relationships. As they grow and face life’s challenges, practice listening without intervening, and asking questions rather than giving unsolicited advice.
Whether you’re a new couple just starting your journey, or an established couple working on big financial goals, communication is important.
Take Your Spouse on a Money Date
If you’re not sure where to start with discussing finances, schedule a money date. Turn off your phones, get a sitter for the kids, and sit down together in a quiet place without any distractions. Over a meal or a cup of coffee, commit to talking through your goals and values, and creating a plan with actionable steps for both of you. Access the Money Date worksheet to help get you started. You can download it, fill it out online or print out copies for you and your spouse.
Money Date Worksheet
After your money date the next step is to consider reaching out to a professional who is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and a Certified Kingdom Advisor (CKA) who can help you become the best steward of what God has entrusted to you now and into the future.
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